The Tremendous Value of A Community To Call Your Tribe

by | Feb 1, 2022

The Tremendous Value of A Community To Call Your Tribe

There have been many times in my life when I came to see the immense value of a community that accepts me for who I am. Anyone who has ever felt alone, lonely, or ostracized from their family, religious group, or any other “tribe” will have no problem acknowledging the same. 

What does the value of a community actually mean? It means it’s a group that does not turn their back on you when the shit hits the fan. 

This is more precious than gold, especially when you are sitting at rock bottom covered in shit and feeling like a born loser.

Why Is Having A Community to Call Your Tribe Desirable?

Having a community or tribe can help you learn to believe in yourself. It can snap you out of the victimhood mentality when you feel like the world is against you. It can facilitate a feeling of self-empowerment while also giving you an opportunity to help others feel a sense of belonging and empowerment.

I wrote a book about all the trials I have been through and the most valuable lessons I learned along the way that led me to appreciate having a tribe and to ultimate success in life. You can find more on those trials by checking out the book here.

For now, though, I want to spotlight one chapter in the book just a little. That’s the chapter on the value of a community to call a tribe. It’s titled The Oasis of Anxiety. While that may sound like an oxymoron, it’s not. I’ll explain. 

The first time I experienced the relief of finding a tribe when I desperately needed one was after being completely unfriended (and not just on social media) by everyone in the tribe I thought I had a lifetime membership in… the tribe of team sports. Here’s a blog post (When Life Sucks, We Should Say Thank You) where you can find more details about why that happened. 

The new tribe that saved the day turned out to be connected with a punk band I formed with some other people called Anxiety. Pretty appropriate for how I was feeling at the time. Yet the irony is that the new tribe helped alleviate some of that soul-crushing anxiety I had been feeling in the weeks and months before finding them. So now you see the clever pun in the title of the chapter.

At the end of that chapter, I have a section called WAY, which stands for What About You? The point of that section (and sections of the same name at the end of each chapter) is to prompt the reader (that’s you) to take inventory of how the information pertains to them and their life experience. So, if you feel like delving into this topic of the value of a community, go ahead and grab a pencil and paper and keep reading.

Bonus Benefits of Finding Your Tribe

The benefits of having an authentic community to belong to includes more than just cures for loneliness and isolation. The members of your tribe can also be a rich resource for your personal and professional needs where you are quite likely to find lifelong friends, work opportunities, financial assistance, and even future spouses. I’ve seen all these things happen in my own life! 

The tribe my friends and I created around Anxiety enriched our lives in many ways. It stimulated our creativity and taught us how to make deals and deliver on our word for starters. I’m frankly still unpacking everything I learned from being in the band. It was a gift that keeps on giving: part hobby, part passion, and part business practice training.

Do you ever feel like a misfit? Do you have a desire to be around people who “get” you but don’t know where to find them? If so, you may require a real tribe to vibe with. And feeling the need for that is normal. 

Everyone needs a tribe to vibe with, no matter what life stage you are in. Finding a community to welcome (and not judge) you is essential to your success on multiple levels. How will you know for sure that it’s your tribe? Because they will accept you for who you are. You won’t feel like you have to put on airs to fit in with them.

You can look for a tribe, and if you can’t find one, you can create one. 

Who is YOUR Tribe?

“So how would one go about finding or creating a tribe,” you may ask. One way is to brainstorm a pool of different places, people, and ways from which you can find people who are into the same things you are. 

Ahem… here’s the part where you can put your pencil and paper to good use.

Write down all the things that come to mind. Include things you enjoy doing and see if you can connect with groups that gather around those things. Maybe you love drinking and learning about wine. Maybe you’re a biker, or you love cats. What are some places where people who have things in common with you might gather? Can you go to those places? Can you create a group and invite others who might be interested? 

Take a good look at the different groups of people in your life like childhood friends, classmates, co-workers. 

What are some other affiliations that could guide you toward possible tribe-mates(like political parties, fandoms, clubs, bands, sports teams, etc.)?

With the advantages of digital technology, you can now belong to a tribe without even sharing the same physical space. Once you get going on this, you should come up with some good ideas.

Go to if you want to join my online tribe. You definitely won’t find any judgment there!


Having a community of people to hang with that you feel comfortable around can enrich your life in many ways. Some you may not have thought of. I am still discovering hidden treasures in the connections I formed as a teenager when I first found a tribe of like-minded people.

 If you agree that discovering your tribe is important, you have probably found some ways to meet people who enjoy the same things you do. But there may be some other ways you didn’t think of. 

Do you see how important it is to have a community of people who can see and appreciate what you like most about yourself? 

Did this article help motivate you to seek out a tribe or a community?


Learn more about how I have found and enjoyed the tribes of my life in my new book! 


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