The Empowering Force of Brutal Self Honesty
We all can easily say that we’re honest and don’t tell lies. But I’m not talking about little white lies. I’m talking about having the kind of brutal self-honesty that it takes to face reality when things go very wrong or completely sideways in our lives (the big setbacks, major disappointments, or a big failure of some kind like losing your job, divorce, etc.)
The hard truth is that, unfortunately, most people play the victim card in important times like these because playing the victim card or the blame game relieves us of the responsibility of what went wrong. People will often say things like, “it’s not my fault I can’t get ahead because the system’s working against me,” or “it’s not my fault I can’t find a good job because the economy sucks.”
Does that sound familiar at all?
I was there once, too. Being extremely responsible and accountable for the times when things go wrong is truly empowering. But, most people never get to that empowering feeling because it means taking responsibility for something when you could have done better. Facing the reality of the situation allows you to learn from your mistakes and learn how to make the necessary adjustments for the next time when a similar experience comes up.
It puts you squarely into the driver’s seat of your life instead of throwing you into the back of the bus that’s headed to Nowheresville. Life is a never-ending series of failures and mistakes, and the sooner you correct these mistakes, the sooner you can get to where you want to go and do it on your terms. This is not to say that every single thing that goes wrong is genuinely your fault; there are plenty of times when we do everything right, but we still get the short end of the stick. I totally get this, believe me, but we must still take responsibility, not for the incident, but in our reactions.
We get to choose how we react to things, and choosing to respond in a way that will serve you is going to be a hell of a lot better than blaming someone or something else for it.
The biggest lesson is to learn how to accept it, learn from it, and then move on! This is where it gets tricky for many people because no one ever really wants to take the blame; we all tend to want to see ourselves in a positive light. Admitting that we were wrong might be seen as a personal attack on our beliefs, or it can be embarrassing and maybe even make us feel stupid. But we have to look past these things to get to the bigger prize.
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Ruthless, cold-blooded honesty in the moment of truth comes when you decide which path you will choose. You can work on yourself from the inside and face the harsh reality, or the other path is to play the victim and let the external world control your future, putting you in the backseat…
Owning your losses or failures is not something that comes without a price. It’s hard, I know, but I can tell you from experience that the reward of responsibility is well worth the cost of admission every single time.
Is there something in your life right now that you need to have more brutal self-honesty around?
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