How To Bounce Back from Failure and Harnessing Courage

by | Dec 15, 2021

How To Bounce Back from Failure and Harnessing Courage

It’s not easy to understand how to bounce back from failure when you’re in the middle of it all and in that moment of feeling like shit. If it were easy, everyone would do it with no problems, and I wouldn’t have to write on this topic.

That’s the first thing to understand. Remember, you’re not alone in feeling like a failure because everyone has been there at least once. Some of us have been there a whole hell of a lot more than that, so don’t think that you’re the only one it’s happening to right now. Others are feeling the same way that you are at the same time. If you spark up a conversation with other people you don’t know, you’d probably be surprised to find out that many are going through something similar to you. It’s the way life goes and the way the universe works.

A big topic around “failure” is looking at failed relationships. Many people wonder how many relationships fail because we always feel alone in that pain. We also dive into thinking deeply about how to fix a failing relationship with hopes that we can regain a certain standard that felt good before but now feels like shit. 

I know what that feels like because I’ve been there. In my book, Disasters to Dreams, I tell all about when I felt betrayed—not to mention devastated—when a woman I was with ran off with another guy. She essentially kicked me to the curb, and now when I think back on our time together, I can see past the hurt enough to appreciate the journey. And I can honestly say that the pain was all worth it because it took me where I needed to go next; that entire “failed” relationship became a huge turning point in my life.

And it can be a huge turning point in your life, too. It’s an excellent time to really think about the pattern of relationships in your life. Has this happened before? Is it healthy for you to dive back into the relationship? Or, is this time in your life in this relationship telling you something that you need to wake up to? 

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not easy to face these questions, but I know that it’s how you harness the courage within you and a way that you can stop the blame game. Failures aren’t failures in a negative sense, but what I think they are is a moment in time that provides us with an opportunity to change something in our lives. Sometimes it’s big things, and sometimes it’s small things. 

How do you bounce back from failures, especially failed relationships? 

I would suggest that the first thing to do is instead of using up your energy on hating your ex or plotting revenge; instead, you convert those feelings into fuel to improve your own life and make yourself better and stronger through positive action. After all, as much as you want it to be, there is no guarantee that your significant other will love you for the rest of your natural life. The best thing to do then is to make sure that at least you love yourself for the rest of your life.

Give yourself time to feel the initial emotions. Seeing the other side of the situation isn’t something you’ll be able to realize immediately. But, when enough time passes, and you get through that initial shock, that’s the moment in time when you can take a look at all that has happened and figure out what’s right for you. Failures are not mistakes; they are powerful moments for us to look at what has happened and see the gifts that it holds. 

“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.”

—Walt Disney

It doesn’t always feel easy to have courage, but I have learned that things rarely work out exactly as planned. There’s always some little twist or turn—and sometimes a full-blown shitshow of a failure. The important thing is to make sure to pivot or adjust accordingly.

In my previous blog post here, I talk about the fact that mistakes from the past are not mistakes but hidden keys to unlock success.

Even when faced with a failed relationship, we have to understand that we can’t get caught up in the blame game. If we’re always thinking we did something wrong or trying to tell someone else that they’re always wrong, then there is no clarity, and the truth of the reality can’t be seen. It’s important to remember that this thing that seems to have “broken” us (or is breaking us) is the key to unlocking success that can fuel our future. 

Looking at past hurts, experiences, trauma, etc., is not fun, and I know that as I had to do this myself. But bouncing back from failure means that we have to be honest with ourselves and our experiences to help us turn the shitty mood into power so that we can handle how we choose to live the rest of our lives.

Learn how to bounce back from failures by getting your copy of my new book here! 

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