After The Shitstorm: 5 Ways To Build Emotional Resiliency and Turn Failure Into Success
Ever been caught in a crazy life shitstorm? Yeah, me too.
So, what does resilience mean? I’ll lay out some things here to help answer this from my perspective.
Mike Tyson famously once said, “Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth.” But I say that sometimes getting punched in the mouth is the best thing that can happen to you. Not by Mike Tyson, of course, that shit would hurt. By life.
You might be thinking, what? the best thing that can happen to me? You’re insane.
Well, hear me out. These moments in our lives often come with earth-shaking winds of self-doubt and anxiety. They leave a lingering stench of fear of the future. Yes, the proverbial shitstorm can leave you questioning everything, feeling like a born loser, and wondering why life sucks so much.
As a lifelong student of the hard knocks school, I’m quite familiar with shitstorm aftermath syndrome. From my early beginnings as a child of an abusive father, being arrested and falsely accused of a serious crime at age 12, through multiple failed businesses and relationships, and being held up at gunpoint, I have weathered many a shitstorm.
You could even call me a shitstorm shaman.
Through it all, I have actually come to value shitstorms and the rich fertilizer they provide for future growth and success, both personal and professional.
If you’re in the middle of a shitstorm of your own, or you just stepped out of one, go clean yourself up, get a cup of something good, and let me tell you why you’re a lucky bastard. Because what you see as fuck ups are really signs that the universe has your back.
You are not a failure! You are more powerful and more valuable than you have imagined. And the only things holding you back from realizing that are misguided beliefs and erroneous subconscious feelings about yourself and the way the world works. Now is the perfect time to challenge those lies you’ve been telling yourself.
So, let’s get to the dope of how you too can learn to THRIVE in the shitstorm aftermath, like I did…
Build Emotional Resiliency
- Learn and Let Go
Take for instance my being arrested and falsely accused of a serious crime when I was only 12 years old (learn more about it in my book, linked here).
It took some time for me to let go of the pain and disillusionment of the experience, but once I did I was able to embrace the gifts that lay underneath it. I became EMPOWERED by the new knowledge I had gained.
I realized that every bad thing that happens to you teaches you something valuable about life and about yourself. But resistance and resentment have to be released before you can access the gifts hidden within it.
I now see the entire experience as a gift that showed me the value of endurance, self-reliance and perception (i.e., I stopped giving a fuck what other people thought of me). Even though this was one of the most challenging times of my life, I would not change it. It gave me the insight and wisdom to look for the good within the bad in all my future experiences. This knowledge and understanding laid the groundwork for the future successes in my life.
- Success and Failure Are Intricately Connected
This brings me to another important truth I have learned from the shitstorms I have endured: Success is not a continuous ascent. There are ups and downs, and they are all part of the process. I have had successes and I have had failures in my life. And it’s the failures that have given me the greatest gifts. They have made me stronger and wiser.
They have helped me to appreciate myself and others more, and to form more fulfilling connections. They have made me a better person while providing me with opportunities to develop new skills and creative solutions, as well as an open mind and a resilient spirit… all things that have contributed to my greatest successes.
Most importantly, my failures have taught me that I am stronger than I thought. And I have come to believe that this is true for everyone… including YOU!
- Flip the Script
Shitstorms give us the invitation and opportunity to tap into our emotional strength. In fact, the more disgusted, disappointed, frustrated, and down on ourselves we feel, the greater the power we gain when we flip the script and make a conscious decision to love ourselves anyway.
Because if shit is fertilizer, love is MiracleGro!
You can start the process of script flipping even if you aren’t quite feeling it. Just start taking care of yourself… whether you want to or not. Do nice things for YOU. Give yourself space and time to heal from failed relationships, failed businesses, or any other event that leaves you feeling vulnerable and self-critical.
Take yourself out for a nice meal. Go for a walk or drive on a beautiful day. Reward yourself for making progress. Whatever makes you feel cared for, do it. Because you are valuable and you deserve to feel good.
Another great way to flip the script is to catch yourself thinking negative thoughts and make a conscious effort to switch them to positive ones. When you are thinking things like can’t, don’t and won’t, you block the cans, does and wills the universe is trying to send you.
And don’t hesitate to reach out to family members or friends who can give you support. We are all here to help one another heal and grow.
- Give it Away
As a matter of fact, it’s amazing how much we actually heal ourselves when we help others. Offering support for someone else is another great way to recover from a debilitating shitstorm experience. Find someone who is missing something you can provide and give it to them.
It may be a listening, supportive ear. It may be a thoughtful gift or even just a smile or word of encouragement. Anything you can do to make someone else feel loved and appreciated is going to provide personal growth and emotional healing for you as well.
- You Are Not Alone
It’s helpful to remember that shit happens to everybody. Even the richest, most famous and powerful people are not immune to the occasional turd tornado. So, give yourself a break and get real if you think you’re a victim of some capricious universal force that is out to get you. You cannot avoid shitstorms no matter who you are. So use them to your benefit!
As long as you are open to the guidance, you will begin to see that shitstorms are actually here to help you grow. You, like me, can use them to bulletproof your emotional resiliency, make failure your bitch, step into your badass power, and succeed in ways you never expected.
Like this article? For more insight, grab my new book now!